Barber's version of Romeo and Juliet

I just came across this article in the endless amount of paper and books which is my room... It is funny! I was torn between putting up the section on the conversation between Hitler and Bruce Ackerman or this... This just seemed more appropriate for some reason. It makes me laugh:

Juliet: Romeo! In your frivolous flattery, you pay my serious side no attention.

Romeo: I am a slave to your every side- no joint moves but that I pay it heed.

Juliet: Then pay heed to this: our families will rule in concert, each as good as the other, neither privileged. So shall we make a fair division of Verona's ample grain stores.

Romeo: Leave the grain to those who harvest it: for us shall love suffice.

Juliet: Romeo!

Romeo: Ah, sweet maiden, my name on thy lips turns dry leaves to the most delicate incense. Say it again.

Juliet: There's no time for caresses, my panting swain, we have a decision to reach. Oh! That is my hand.

Romeo: Your hand? I could have sworn it was a lark alighting in my palm. Oh sweet, sweet Juliet.

Juliet: Oh Romeo, you rob me of my reason. My treasured neutrality flies. How can I strike a bargain with all my faculties awry?

Romeo: Then bargains be damned, my sweet, and honor to unreason let us marry forthwith; and that precious bargain shall supersede every other our careless families have made and broken.

Juliet: In earnest? Marry you?

Romeo: In earnest; in madness; in vain- I care not how, but marry me you must!

Juliet: Dare we dearest? Could we truly marry though but moments ago we were locked in the cinfines of heartless neutral dialogue? That loveless discourse of the lonely and the vain?

Romeo: I love you, dear Juliet.

Juliet: Oh reckless suitor! to think but for love we would still be bargainers in a cognitive proceeding.

Romeo: "Cognitive proceeding"- say it once more; its savory vowels give to your mouth the perfection of "O."

Juliet: Cognitive proceeding, cognitive proceeding, cognitive... Oh! Romeo, thy hand strays.

(section from "Unconstrained Conversations: A Play on Words, Neutral and Otherwise" by Benjamin R. Barber, in Ethics, Vol.93, No.2 (Jan., 1983). 330-347.)