Monday, January 23, 2012

Stay At Home Mom

I wish I knew what it took to have control over home and raising the little one. Raising the little one actually is going well; I think its just the home that gets out of hand. Maybe blogging isn't the best thing to do when I have this problem, but I've been thinking on this alot.

Cleaning is what I have never been good at. My mom has said to my husband that she didn't raise me to be a housewife. Well, I feel kinda cheated now because this does me no good when that is exactly what I am. I am good at work. What I mean is with keeping up with office work with the jobs I've had, I am good at that. I remember being good at it. At one of my jobs I closed all this stuff as a recruiter just before I left... I mean, performance was never a problem. BUT.... This does not help me now. And it isn't like I could just go back to work either. That leaves out the little one. I want to raise her, it just leaves me in a "job" that I am not good at.

This makes me think of when speaking to someone and asking them, "What do you do?" Basic question that you ask someone when you are learning about them. When I got the answer that they were a Stay at Home Mom (before I was one myself), I didn't know what to say next. If you haven't had the experience, there is a real gap in understanding. So you stay at home all the time? At the same time there isn't the same respect for it, which ties me back to what my mom would tell my husband. There are many women who think that way. There is a lack of respect for the position of raising your children and taking care of the home. But believe me, it is as much of a job as if you are working.

I was reading an article on putting forward the family over individual. That is something I think is lacking in our society. With this relations between husband and wife are affected and most effected I believe are the children. Women asserting themselves by working outside the home when it is not really essential to do so with kids puts alot of strain on the family. There is the cost of healthcare and there is the major fact that someone else is raising your children. I had bad experience as a child with daycare centers and babysitters. I never want to put my children through this. I want to be there for the little one and I will put myself in the vulnerable position of being at home.

So, that is why I can't work. I may be good at it, but I care too much about putting family first. I know many that work out of the home that can't because of lack of family income. I'm not speaking on those women at all. But I do put blame on women in our society that put my generation of women in the position where you require two incomes. Because these women can't make that choice. From women working so much out of the home two incomes slowly becomes a necessity to more and more families.

This does not help me in my original problem I started with. How to be good at being a house wife... Now that I'm in this position, how do I do it? It something I was raised not to respect and never been taught to do. I've been taught to have a maid. Lovely right. Well, I'll see if it gets easier as I see it as my job.