Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Birth Control

The questions was asked of me of why I am against the use of birth control. It is easiest for me to take the religious approach on this question. I believe that God's purpose for sex is for procreation and it is against God's plan when you take away the possibility of procreation when it comes to sex. This also puts sex as something between two committed adults when you have the possibility of procreation for the purpose of the children produced.

But with everything that is explained religiously there is a logical answer to it as well. I always believe that as I believe in natural law. What has happened with birth control's rise in society? Has it benefited women as a whole? With birth control sex is just sex. With this you have to ask what is the reason for lasting relationships? Yes, there maybe companionship, but holds together companionship when there are fights and when there are just general problems? Nothing. There is a lack of purpose in the relationship. To have sex? What holds a man to a relationship?

Since there is birth control there is one thing I've noticed that is worst for women in general, that men seeing women just for sex. They don't see sex as the outcome of a lasting relationship with women. This takes away respect that men have for women in many cases and it causes less need for marriage in the long run for men. Why marry when you can just get sex? I hope I am not skipping too much in this.

I think that you can blame birth control and abortion for the rise of single motherhood in this country and the break down of the family. The reason? There is always an out for the man. "I thought you were of birth control? I never wanted kids.", "Why don't you just have an abortion?" And it isn't the men who make this choice, it is the women. Don't they say that? Women choose weather or not to have a baby? I realize I am taking this to an abortion discussion as well, but this is what happens. Birth control devalues the relationship between men and women and in the end it has devalued the natural family.

So that is a short version of why I am against birth control. I believe women should be still held up as ladies to men and be seen as more value than what they are today.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Harm OCD

I am a little disappointed I can't find anything else on the type of ocd I have. I described before I am obsessed with cutting myself. Most obsess with cutting others and I find little other than yes it is a form of OCD.

So if you have something similar I'd like to hear.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

OCD Episode

So it started with me waking up at 2 am on morning and my mind was racing. I believe it was this past Tuesday. Anyway, all I could see in my head were images of me cutting myself. It didn't matter if it was a knife or razor, it was simply me cutting through my arms. The thoughts were overwhelming that I should do this. If I do this then there would be some kind of relief. The feelings were so strong that I went over to hug my husband and told him to keep me from hurting myself. He said he would and I went back to get my daughter back to sleep. The thoughts got worse and I saw myself cutting my wrist and urges to do so. I couldn't stop crying. I love my life and I don't want to kill myself, but I was horribly afraid I would if I didn't control those thoughts. I never went to sleep. I was crying the entire morning.

I told my husband that I thought I was going to kill myself and he had to take off work and get me to the psychiatrist. After telling the psychiatrist what happened he gave me the option of staying with my husband's constant supervision or to be hospitalized. I opted to be with my family and since then my mom has flown in and then my mother in law is coming in.

All in all I found out I am not as much of a suicide risk and just have had a bad episode of OCD. You think you have this disease figured out then something else comes on and you don't know what to do with it. I am on several medications now to calm the intrusive thoughts and evidently it was all from an SSRI, Luvox, that I just started that was the cause of this episode.

Now I just deal with the thoughts but it is better knowing that there isn't actually as much a risk of suicide. My psychologist tells me they are OCD thoughts and think of them as separate from my own. I have the avoidance compulsion still continues. Hopefully this will all go down soon.

Till next time!