Tuesday, November 29, 2005


The Meme: Quote the Gospel verses of your birthday
From Idle Mendacity

Matthew 4:30- doesn't exist

Mark 4:30- And he said, Whereunto shall we liken the kingdom of God? or with what comparison shall we compare it?

Luke 4:30- But he passing through the midst of them went his way,

John 4:30- They went therefore out of the city and came unto him.

If you read this, you're tagged!

Need a book? Look it up.

I'm just amazed about how many books you can read for free online. I have Summa Theologica linked off my side bar. That was one I just printed off parts at a time as I had to go to class. I also confess I did the same for The Politics. This one just suprised me. I looked up We Hold These Truths, and here it is! I've already read it. I was just looking up what people wrote on it. I just didn't think I'd find this one online for free. Maybe I'm just easily amazed.

Update on job search

I went to take a couple of tests this morning to see if I can qualify for getting a job for Immigration. As I was standing around during break I noticed that I was one of very few white people in the room and that there were at least a couple groups of guys around me speaking spanish. Does that seem right to you? I'll just shrug it off as something usual for San Antonio.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is only a few more minutes left of it for me. Regardless of the turkey I am having a bit of trouble falling asleep. I had the usual traditional Thanksgiving at home with the family and a few relatives from out of town. Everyone started to go around the table saying what they were thankful for. Though there were distractions and it never made it to me. I really don't care for the corny tradition and rolled my eyes at it when my mom brought it up. I'm not sure why I'm thinking of it now. I guess it is a good thing to post on for today. So what am I thankful for? Many things. The stresses of my life are a couple of classes I need to complete, a house that needs to be organized and a wedding that I have yet to start planning. I know some people right now that are having much worse problems right now. I am very thankful that my stresses are not severe and that no matter what I know I have my family behind me. As the night ended we watched a comedy... Ever seen Eulogy? If you haven't, I suggest it. It was very funny. Anyway, I hope everyone had a great day. Happy shopping tomorrow! I know that is what a majority of the country will be doing. Now I will try and get some sleep again. Maybe I need more turkey:)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

A few things I wish to get of my chest...

There are a few things I've lied about in the past. Since I've recently decided to stop doing that I thought I'd publically announce a few of the past lies that I don't care if people know. Some of them are no suprise to those who know me:

Lie #1- That I like any type of industrial or hard rock music (I also add most techno to this one as well).

This is what I call "migrine music". If you think that Trent Reznor is part of that group then you can exclude him. I still like NIN. I have a thing for his rather depressing music about the whole world sucking at some points of the year. All others just suck. I won't take the time to list them because I'm horrible at remembering the names of music groups or their song names either. I added techno because this is something I use to say that I really liked as well. Honestly all of this music was stuff that I use to listen to so much that I thought that I liked it. You know, that annoying song that plays on the radio over and over again, and after awhile you think that you want it. That is what that music was like to me. I still love most rock music and I have a thing for "angry female music". That might be my mother's fault. No other feminist stuff stuck to me except for that.

Lie #2- That I'm liberal.

I came clean on that one earlier actually. No suprise there. At one point I did believe I was liberal, but after I discovered I was wrong I still told people I was liberal for awhile. Think it is stupid? You should meet my family then.

Lie #3- That I'm never going back to the Catholic church.

This may be suprising to some who just read the blog. There was a point in my life when I was incredibly confused about what I was going to do religiously. I had been mad at the church. My anger was misplaced and it was someone else's fault. I'm not really going to blame someone else for my falling away from the church. It was stupid of me to say that I wasn't going back though. It is part of my identity. Part of me always knew I was going back. I was lying to myself as much as to everyone else.

Lie #4- That I like the taste of any type of hard liquor.

One time I took a shot of Jack and it came right back up on me and onto the floor. Ever since that incident I have been happy that I can use my reflux as an excuse to not take shots. ALL HARD LIQUOR IS GROSS! I can only take mixed drinks, some beer and wine.

Lie #5- That I have a good memory.

I swear I've said that to someone before, I just can't remember when. I'm serious! Maybe it is that my memory was good and it has failed me recently. I don't know.

Lie #6- That I was ever sexual or slept around or anything of that nature.

I have to put that up because of past things on this blog and others. Other than a few bad experiences from having too much alcohol, I kept to myself most of the time. I'm not a sexual person. I was looking into convents at the same point because I was so upset the way my life was going. I didn't write about it, but its the truth. Now I'm with Art. If it wasn't for him there is a possibility I'd be a nun right now or becoming one. Not that it would have been a bad thing; I know it was not the direction for me.

Lie #7- That I don't want to learn Spanish.

That use to not be a lie, but it is more recently. In high school I could understand some of it and now I don't understand it at all. It really frustrates me. I don't want to take the time to learn it though. I don't think it would work anyway.

That is it for now:)

Monday, November 21, 2005

Working and waiting on an annulment

I love the holidays! I don't really wish to be too busy through them. This means that I am actually getting through work that I should have done months ago. That is the reason for the lack of posts. I have commented on blogs here and there, but I was told I don't get my present if I don't finish my work. Is that all it takes, no. I think its actually the thyroid medication I started taking helps with my focus. My mind has been working better recently.

No update on wedding plans. I have to wait on an annulment between my fiance and his exwife. It is good that I am rather patient. I will wait on having my Catholic wedding. If the Catholic annulment is new to you, I can explain. Yes, my fiance is legally divorced. I have been asked that several times. He has been divorced for awhile as far as I know. This still does not allow you to get married in the Catholic church. Once you are married, it is till death do you part. It doesn't matter if the state sees you as divorced or not. If a person wishes to marry again through the church they have to get the church to approve that thier previous marriage was not acceptable as a true marriage by the church. This is a better definition:
A declaration of nullity states that, according to Church law, a given marriage was not valid (and therefore not binding) at the time a couple spoke their marriage vows. A person asks this Office to look at a previous marriage which has ended in divorce, and, if possible, to issue a declaration that this previous marriage no longer binds either party to the union. In no way should this process be thought of as a type of "Catholic Divorce." A declaration of nullity states that a marriage was invalid from the beginning. A civil divorce, on the other hand, asserts that a marriage, valid or not, is dissolved. The Catholic Church does not grant divorces.
Neither is an annulment a statement that a marriage never existed civilly. Rather, it is a determination that certain conditions were present at the time the marriage was entered that made it an invalid union according to Catholic Church teaching. The civil effects and recognition of that marriage remain intact and unchanged.
Moreover, an annulment is not a statement that the marriage was entered into in bad faith by either of the parties. It is not a statement of who caused the marriage to fail or who was most guilty for its failure. Those are certainly important questions for a person to ask. But they are not the questions a Tribunal must answer.
The annulment process, in its most simple form, involves any person coming to the Church and asking to be heard. Information is gathered by us and in the end, we answer that person’s request: the marriage was invalid or valid according to the laws of the Church.

I'm not sure of how long this is going to take. I hear that it is usually about a year. I think it depends on the amount of witnesses you have and the length of the marriage. Art's marriage was only for a few years, and I hope it won't take too long. One of the statements they make on the tribunal page that I linked to above is that it is not a good idea to set a wedding date until the declaration of nullity is given. Till then there is the possibility they could say that the marriage was valid. So there is no reason to even start with plans. I'm not too worried about it being declared nullified. I just pray that it doesn't take a year to happen. I don't mind waiting, but that may drive the rest of my family crazy that are waiting to here about my plans.

I need to get back to work. Will let you know if there are any new developments.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I'm a hypochondriac interested in elections

I didn't vote this election. This time it had nothing to do with me simply forgetting to vote, but the fact that I've recently moved to Bexar county and haven't registered here yet. I've also been running between doctors appointments for both my mom and I. I've done more driving these past few days than I had probably done the entire month before. I went over the election results, and I don't really think it matters that I voted this time. The biggest thing in the local news about this election was Proposition 2:
"The constitutional amendment providing that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status ideantical or similar to marriage."
It passed. Doesn't suprise me. Sometimes I forget how conservative the rest of the state is being around central Texas. The little, blue liberal island (mostly Austin) in the huge, red conservative state. My mother told me in the car the other day, "Vote no on proposition2." I had no idea what she was talking about. She told me what it was about and I looked at her rather confused. "Why should I vote no? Isn't that what marriage is, the union between one man and one woman?" She told me that it was good that I wasn't voting. I shook my head and went on driving. Evidently my view is more popular in the state than my mother's.

Other than the election results, as I said before, I've been going between doctors. My mother had vision problems, but (thank God) the doctor said she'll be okay. I found out I have hypothyroidism. So I take a pill and have more energy. Woo-hoo! I just went to the spine doctor and he reminded me of my congenital spine abnormalities. They just keep me away from contact sports, and evidently I'm not suppose to jog either. Why I am telling you all this, I do not know. It would be cool to put up a picture of my xrays though. I always thought xrays looked cool. My favorite one was the one I had of my brain one time. I wish I could get a copy of that... just to look at it. I took one similar to the one up above today. Mine doesn't look like that though. The c1 and c2 of mine doesn't have its back. It is cool looking. Okay, that is enough. I tend to be fascinated with my own medical problems. Maybe I'm a hypochondriac... I just took a test and it said I have minor hypochondria. Maybe just the fact I took the test proves my hypochodria.... Okay, time to stop typing again.

Monday, November 07, 2005


Electronic Lifeform

Thanks to Jonathan Bennett!

Bored at my parents' place

The only thing I can think to do is to post old photos. So here is Mulder the three legged dog...

He had one of his back legs amputated not too long ago. The next one is when I tryed to draw him...

I think I gave up once he moved. I thought maybe I could draw him completely without him moving. He doesn't move much. But dogs tend to be curious when you sit across from them and look at them for too long... It sounds like my cat's ghost is here. She use to claw on the window to let us know she wanted back in. I swear I just heard that noise again. Anyway, I miss her. I also miss Art...

I just found this picture of him. It is difficult to get a good picture of him smiling. I think I actually found a good picture of him. That is difficult as well. Here's anoter one of us. We really need an actual good picture of us I think there are only two in existence. I don't know where they are right now. So here is this one...

Okay, I'm falling to sleep now. I can't type anymore.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Unemployed Blogger

Hunger is not the worst feature of unemployment; idleness is.

~William E. Barrett

Martyrs, Virgins and Grapes

(I was going through my old emails and I found this article a friend emailed me awhile back. Tell me what you think.)


Published: August 4, 2004

The virgins are calling you," Mohamed Atta wrote reassuringly to his fellow hijackers just before 9/11.

It has long been a staple of Islam that Muslim martyrs will go to paradise and marry 72 black-eyed virgins. But a growing body of rigorous scholarship on the Koran points to a less sensual paradise - and, more important, may offer a step away from fundamentalism and toward a reawakening of the Islamic world.

Some Islamic theologians protest that the point was companionship, never heavenly sex. Others have interpreted the pleasures quite explicitly; one, al-Suyuti, wrote that sex in paradise is pretty much continual and so glorious that "were you to experience it in this world you would faint."

But now the same tools that historians, linguists and archaeologists have applied to the Bible for about 150 years are beginning to be applied to the Koran. The results are explosive.

The Koran is beautifully written, but often obscure. One reason is that the Arabic language was born as a written language with the Koran, and there's growing evidence that many of the words were Syriac or Aramaic.

For example, the Koran says martyrs going to heaven will get "hur," and the word was taken by early commentators to mean "virgins," hence those 72 consorts. But in Aramaic, hur meant "white" and was commonly used to mean "white grapes."

Some martyrs arriving in paradise may regard a bunch of grapes as a letdown. But the scholar who pioneered this pathbreaking research, using the pseudonym Christoph Luxenberg for security reasons, noted in an e-mail interview that grapes made more sense in context because the Koran compares them to crystal and pearls, and because contemporary accounts have paradise abounding with fruit, especially white grapes.

Dr. Luxenberg's analysis, which has drawn raves from many scholars, also transforms the meaning of the verse that is sometimes cited to require women to wear veils. Instead of instructing pious women "to draw their veils over their bosoms," he says, it advises them to "buckle their belts around their hips."

Likewise, a reference to Muhammad as "ummi" has been interpreted to mean he was illiterate, making his Koranic revelations all the more astonishing. But some scholars argue that this simply means he was not "of the book," in the sense that he was neither Christian nor Jewish.

Islam has a tradition of vigorous interpretation and adjustment, called ijtihad, but Koranic interpretation remains frozen in the model of classical commentaries written nearly two centuries after the prophet's death. The history of the rise and fall of great powers over the last 3,000 years underscores that only when people are able to debate issues freely - when religious taboos fade - can intellectual inquiry lead to scientific discovery, economic revolution and powerful new civilizations. "The taboos are still great" on such Koranic scholarship, notes Gabriel Said Reynolds, an Islam expert at the University of Notre Dame. He called the new scholarship on early Islam "a first step" to an intellectual awakening.

But Muslim fundamentalists regard the Koran - every word of it - as God's own language, and they have violently attacked freethinking scholars as heretics. So Muslim intellectuals have been intimidated, and Islam has often been transmitted by narrow-minded extremists.

(This problem is not confined to Islam. On my blog, www.nytimes.com/kristofresponds, I've been battling with fans of the Christian fundamentalist "Left Behind" series. Some are eager to see me left behind.)

Still, there are encouraging signs. Islamic feminists are emerging to argue for religious interpretations leading to greater gender equality. An Iranian theologian has called for more study of the Koran's Syriac roots. Tunisian and German scholars are collaborating on a new critical edition of the Koran based on the earliest manuscripts. And just last week, Iran freed Hashem Aghajari, who had been sentenced to death for questioning harsh interpretations of Islam.

"The breaking of the sometimes erroneous bonds in the religious tradition will be the condition for a positive evolution in other scientific and intellectual domains," Dr. Luxenberg says.

The world has a huge stake in seeing the Islamic world get on its feet again. The obstacle is not the Koran or Islam, but fundamentalism, and I hope that this scholarship is a sign of an incipient Islamic Reformation - and that future terrorist recruits will be promised not 72 black-eyed virgins, but just a plateful of grapes.

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Thursday, November 03, 2005

Please check this one out

I have stopped posting when I change my blog links. This one I really want people to check out though. I came across this thanks to Jonathan Bennett. It is a high school girl in Sacramento that was expelled from a all girls Catholic school for her activity as a pro-life advocate. I found an article on it:

A 15-year-old girl at a Catholic school who was responsible for alerting her bishop to the presence of a pro-abortion activist teacher on staff at her school has been expelled from the school....Katelyn informed her mother after she recognized Marie Bain, one of the teachers at Loretto, as an escort at a Planned Parenthood abortuary where Katelyn and her family had regularly taken part in pro-life rallies. After unsuccessful attempts to quietly have the school address the situation of Mrs. Bain, Katelyn's mother Wynette Sills sent photos of Bain escorting women into the abortion center to Bishop Weigand....The diocese says it is unable to act on the matter of Katelyn's expulsion. Rev. Charles S. McDermott, S.T.D. Chancellor and Vicar Episcopal for Theological Affairs for the Diocese of Sacramento, explained to LifeSiteNews.com that the school is run by an order of nuns popularly known as the Loretto Sisters. Rev. McDermott described the order as "A religious institute in the church which is of pontifical right," explaining that "they are subject in their internal affairs directly to the Holy See and not to the local bishop."

Anyway, I am going to add her to my "Blogs to check out" list. So, please do check it out:

Stand Up and Speak Out

Pretending I know something about International Law

Once upon a time I thought that I might be interested in International Law. In fact I was stupid enough to take it as my first upper division class as an undergrad. To this day the prof who taught that class is one of my favorites at Texas State. He later introduced me to political philosophy and I can give him partial blame for me being more of a conservative. But that class, it was a pain in my ass.

I was reminded of this class because of an article I saw earlier thanks to Pizza Poems' post. It reminded me of a major case study I was required to do for a major grade. It had to do with the Guantanamo Bay prisoners. Now I was actually excited about this one. It was something major in the news at the time and I was also not a big fan of Bush. I was wanting to show that what the administration was doing was a violation of the Geneva Convention or have some other kind of horrid conclusion. That kind of makes me laugh now as I think of it. So I did my research. The biggest problem I had, if I remember correctly, was categorizing a terrorist. He was not a member of any military force. He did not wear a uniform and did not have the protection provided for a prisoner at war. In fact I could find absolutely no protection for these people. The closest categorization I could find for a terrorist was a pirate. I have to tell you, a country can do whatever the hell it feels like with a pirate.

I don't remember right now what I answered for the paper. I just remember being confused. Shouldn't there be some sort of protection for these people? Shouldn't there be a way for the countries that these people are citizens of to have some sort of say in what is happening to them? Well, no. There was nothing about civilians that take action against the military. At least I don't think there was. All I do remember for certain right now is that I made a really bad grade on that case study, somewhere between a C and an F. It could be because even when I couldn't really find evidence of there being any violation of international law, I bullshitted my way into a crappy grade for my own beliefs.

After that class I was certain I did not want to go into international law. The main reason being, the uncertainty of the law. I went into the class, and the case study, being quite ignorant of the way the international community interacts. I wanted to believe that there was some authority. I wanted something to say that what this country is doing is wrong. I know there are others that want this same thing. That is the reason for the development for such things as the International Criminal Court. But then again is it good to have something there that has authority over the nations of this world? That would mean that other countries could have control over what type of laws we make in our own country. Now that scares me right there.

Another thing I wonder now: What reason do we have to be so concerned with the rights of these terrorists? I remember what my concern was back at that time. It was the possible innocence of the people imprisoned. I was also concerned with their being American citizens held prisoner without the rights that are there for all citizens. But what about those who are guilty? Should there be standards on how we treat those prisoners? The more I think about it, I think they should be treated as pirates. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that you could make a treaty with terrorists as easily as you can with pirates. In other words, no treaty. They are outlaws from different countries. There is no reason to treat them in the civilized manner that we expect. They would not and do not give us the same treatment in return.

Again, after I was done with that class I never again touched International Law. I did gain interest in Islam and the Middle East for a time. Of course, I also was interested in Japan. I think I wanted to know of every culture. I knew little of anything that wasn't Western. Well, it is interesting to learn. Now, I honestly don't know what else to write and I have no idea why the hell I am still awake. I hope this post made sense. I guess I'll check and see in the morning.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Random Political Cartoon

Mike Keefe

Stupid Sidebar!

I have just discovered that I have messed up the links to my sketches on the sidebar! It can be kind of confusing trying to learn html on your own. Till I get to fixing it if you want to check my more recent sketches out you'll have to use my archives. I'm sure I'll get to fixing it tommorow. I haven't been the best at keeping up with the blog recently, at least with the sidebar. This is a cool hobby, but it takes time to figure out:)

Changing picture on sidebar

I took this picture of myself over a year ago.

I think this was one of the first pictures I put on my blog. So I've decided to update the picture on my sidebar.

This one was taken today on the way out to a job interview. Unsuccessful interview, but I'm still trying. I have to say if you are unemployed, whatever you do, do not come to San Antonio! Okay, there is the exception of the jobs in sales, marketing and other areas that I have no experience in. But that is my main problem in the first place, I have no experience. I'm sure someone will want a woman with almost no job experience and a bachelors eventually. Well, that wasn't what I wanted to write on. It was just time for another change:)

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Just listening

Three stories that just popped to mind. I am either incredibly nosy or I look like a psychologist. It could be a combination of both. At least once a year I have someone come up to me and tell me their life story. I have no clue who these three people are. Two of them mostly has to do with alcohol and the other was because she was a complete stranger:

Story 1

I stayed at this small town woman's house once a few years ago. Her family ran the gas station/ restraunt in town. She was a sweet lady that hugged me once I walked through the door, even though she didn't know me. I was just traveling along with a friend and her son and my friend were close since they were both little. I spent most of the trip talking to her. We stayed up drinking and I listened to her life story. She told me she almost died once. She remembers floating above her body during an operation. She could describe at that time the music the surgeon was playing and everything in the room. From that point on she was certain of the afterlife, but it wasn't her time. That was before she had her son. Then the story went to her brother. According to her he was wrongly accused of molesting a child when he was a school teacher. I know there is a movie about a case like this. She described the horrid nature of the judicial system and how screwed over he was. She loved to tell the story in hoped that someday someone could help him. She said that she did all that she could and nothing worked. I was drunk by that point so all I remember is that I told her that if I was ever in such a position I would do what I could to help and that at some point she talked about a lawyer smoking crack. Maybe I'm a little confused on this one.

Story 2

I was studying late at night at a restraunt in town. I was just about to go home when I saw the girl a table across from me was almost in tears. Usually I would leave it alone, but my curiosity got the better of me so I sat at her table and asked her what was wrong. She was eager to talk. Her father had just passed away recently. She carried his erne in her backpack and took it around where ever she went. He was all she had left. She did have one living relative left, but it was her uncle that wanted nothing to do with her. Her father had some sort of terminal illness, and he did not wish to be kept alive by machines. He wanted to go home and pass away with his daughter. So that is what he did. His brother, or this girl's uncle, did not believe that this was the right thing to do. He blamed her for taking her father out of the hospital to pass away at home. She was pleading with me that was what her father wanted. It seemed she wanted someone to believe her. So I asked her what she was going to do with the ashes. She said that her father loved the ocean or this certain place by the ocean, I don't remember which. She said when she could get enough money she was going to take him there to spread his ashes. Until then she would still take him around with her everywhere. I didn't bother to ask to see the erne before I left. I honestly thought it was kind of creepy. Seeing a backpack with her was quite enough for me. I told her that I would pray for her and went on.

Story 3

This was when I was in England. I was staying at the University of Kent. I had just made it back earlier that day from Dublin and I could not sleep. The pub was closed and the only other person there to talk to was an older woman (another American) who didn't quite fit in with the other girls in the trip. I invited her to drink with me. I had a bottle of whiskey I had bought in Ireland I wanted to drink. We sat alone away from the dorms to drink. She told me that years ago she had caught her husband cheating on her with another woman. This upset her greatly. She had given herself to him and he betrayed her. So to get back at him, she decided to sleep with a different man every weekend for... I don't remember how long. She said she had a blast with it and she was sure to tell her husband all about it. Of course that marriage did not last. Then she told me about her children. She had a girl and a boy. She said that she believed that it is important for children to learn about sex and especially safe sex from an early age. One day she walked in on her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend messing around. She said that she went in the room and started lecturing them both on safe sex and told them if they were going to do it anywhere, that it at her home was the best place. Next she told me about how she educated her son on sex. She decided the best thing to do was to get him a prostitute. Yes, she took her young son to a prostitute when he came of age. I think probably 18 or something. I kept edging her on and was basically going along with her when my prof walked around the corner. Evidently he heard the entire conversation. We decided it was time to call it a night.

Why I thought of these? I don't know. I was trying to remember the first lady and then the others just came to mind. If I thought of it enough I'm sure more would come to mind. I've always loved sitting and listening to people.