Saturday, July 09, 2011

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I read somewhere that stating that you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is one of the most difficult things to make public; like coming out of closet so to speak. That may not be understood by those who don't have it, but there is such shame that comes with it that it is hard to tell out in the open. I know this because I have it.

This is something that I have denied to myself for years but recently come to grips with it because I really had to. If I didn't then I would have remained trapped in my house with my anxieties. I didn't want that at all. I've been on medication for about a month now and feel better than I have in years.

It is strange thing to have and very hard to explain. When I first tell people that they usually don't believe me; or maybe that is a fear I have. The reason I have no compulsions that are really noticeable to anyone but my husband, who I have to say is very good about the whole thing. It gets bad enough where I hardly leave my bed from obsessions at times. I don't want to be around people because I'm afraid they will see it; which is ridiculous really. It isn't a very logical mental illness though.

I wish I could explain it better for those who may come across this. Maybe I will think of something better on this later. I feel better stating this even if it is on a website that I am sure not many read. But hey, I've told so few people this is a start.

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