Monday, September 12, 2005

Sweet Dreams

My brain torments me at night. There are a number of things that happen.

1. A scene pops to mind. It usually has something to do with a crappy situation that happened to me where I thought I was going to be killed by my ex, or some other interesting experience. I'm sure he'd say that he was possessed by a demon at that point or some bulls@#t like that. Yes, full of excitement.

2. This is the time I think most about my current state of being unemployed and out of school. Wow do I feel like a loser.

3. If I actually get to sleep early, then I wake in the middle of the night from wierd dreams. Let's see... I've had the total destruction dreams. I've had the rape dreams. Not always me being raped, sometimes its others. I've had the torture dreams. That is usually me watching others being tortured. They are all quite lovely.

Maybe these things are related. Right now I just feel annoyed. This reminds me of a journal entry I made once awhile back. This will be the rare occurance where I share this with everyone. I drew a rotting corpse and I wrote, "I don't want to dream again of swimming with rotting corpses all around me. Especially when there is someone there telling me to eat them. I pray to you Lord to help me." Yeah, that about sums it up.

Sweet Dreams:)


Jay said...


You know, I am an insomniac, so quite familiar with the demented things you think of when you can't sleep. It kind of makes you afraid of your own mind.

Art said...

Sorry you had a bad night El. Hopefully you had pleasant dreams once you got back to sleep. I love you.