Monday, September 12, 2005

What makes me happy?

This is my attempt in getting myself in a better mood. You could say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I woke feeling as if it were the middle of the night and I turned slowly to the clock to see that it was ten a.m.... I hate that feeling. It feels like you had little sleep, but in reality you had too much sleep. I rolled out of bed with my limbs feeling incredibly heavy and I contemplated just going back. The bed was warm and soft and the room was freezing. Well, I made it out of bed and woke my ass up, but I can't get that damn grumpy feeling to go away. It could be that I have no calls from where I've sent my resume and I've had no emails as well... Except one from my mom... Not about a job though, but about a conference when I have no papers written and am not even in school. So it goes.

I decided to make a list.... What of? I think of things that I enjoy. Things that make me happy. This is in no order. I'm just writing whatever the hell comes to mind.

1. I love drawing. I love painting. I love creating art in general.

Hey, it goes with the puppet:) I think that this is an obvious one to anyone who comes to my blog... Or just looks down the sidebar. I haven't had the urge to pick up my pencil, my pen, my charchoal or my brush recently. It has actually been quite awhile. I haven't made a move to making anything since before I went to Miami. Arthur has commmented that this is rather unusual considering I usually am always drawing something. I just haven't felt inspired to do so... I'm sure it will come back to me later. Anyway, the point is, being an artist makes me happy.

2. I love philosophy. This is something else that seems to have been almost dropped from my life recently. I can think about going to my political theory classes and the feeling I had doing so. Also when I was a TA, teaching a class about Machiavelli... It makes me excited. It keeps my blood running. I can't stop talking about it. I thought that it was a problem that I had night classes before because whenever I got out of class I felt inspired. I felt awake and alive, and it was time to go to bed. I wouldn't mind having that again. Philosophy makes me happy.

3. I love wild flowers.

(One of my old bluebonnet pictures)

Again this shouldn't be a suprise to anyone who reads my blog. If I ever leave Texas(which I don't see happening anytime soon), I'd have to say that central Texas in the spring is something that I would miss the most. When I drive between San Marcos and Brenham, the road sides are covered with flowers. My favorite being the Indian Paint Brush... and of coarse the Bluebonnet. At that time of the year driving for a couple of hours through the country actually lifts my spirits. Wild flowers make me happy.

4. Reading history makes me happy... Learning more of history makes me happy. I especially love military history. It could be that I loved the prof that taught it at Texas State, but I was always excited to learn... Unless it had something to do with anything past World War I. I was reminded of my favorite person to study in history yesterday when I was reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis:
"'Walking up and down- up and down all the time- left-right, left-right- never stopping for a moment. Thetwo chaps atched him for about a year and he never rested. And muttering to himself all the time."It was Soult's fault. It was Ney's fault. It was Josephine's fault. It was the fault of the Russians. It was the fault of the English." Like that all the time. Never stopped for a moment. A little, fat man and he looked kind of tired. But he didn't seem able to stop it.'"

It's Napoleon of course! By the way, if you haven't read The Great Divorce yet, I highly recommend it. I think I've found another favorite. By the way, if you happen to know of any other good book to read by C.S. Lewis I'd love to know about it. I don't really know much of his work, but I'd like to read more of his stuff. Back to the point, oh yes, Napoleon. I love reading more of his earlier campaigns.... I won't get into it now though. The point really was, reading and learning history makes me happy.

5. My faith makes me happy. It is what is most important to me. It has caused me to gain interest more in St. Thomas Aquinas. It is the reason why I picked up C.S. Lewis and it is what keeps me going. I love theology. I love finding out more about my faith. I realize that this is something that I've lacked knowledge of in the past. But it inspires me. It shows up in my art and in my writing. For I believe that God is the only way to happiness. So it keeps me going.

6. Arthur makes me happy. He's home once again and I honestly feel better now. I love him.

See, doesn't he look like the sweetest guy ever:) Ha, ha!

7. Getting a job interview makes me happy. I say this because I just had an interview over the phone (while typing this)and I honestly feel great now. Whew did that change my mood!!!

Okay, that does it for now. I can say that it has helped plenty. I think my mother is the one who got me into the habit of making lists whenever things go wrong. It works sometimes. With me it is like I trap myself into the mood with my actions and with closing myself off from what makes me happy. Well, now that I'm happy my post is done. Bye!


Jack Bennett said...

Congrats on the job interview. I share some of your likes, I love reading philosophy and history, I even thought about majoring in them for a while.

Art said...

In that picture it looks like I'm losing my hair.

Jonathan said...

Hang in there about the job. I waited what seemed like forever, but eventually found a great job which I love. I'll offer up a prayer for you. Also, it's cool you like the Great Divorce. C.S. Lewis is amazing and that is probably my favorite book that he's written.

Mrs. Turd Ferguson said...

Im thinking Happy thoughts for you!

nixonreed said...

I love waking up and finding out I can actually go back to sleep. By the way I hate this word verification thingy.

-E said...

good luck with the job hunt. I know how much it sucks.

Leo said...

I love philosophy and history, esp. military hist. too. C.s. Lewis wrote, "The Chronicles of Narnia", which I first read when I was 11 and am actually rereading right now. They've taken all of the Narnia books and made one big compilation edition, which just came out a few months ago. The Narnia Chronicles are very good, if you haven't read them. I'll have to check out "the Great Divorce".