Feeling Like Cincinnatus C

Do you ever have the urge to write? I have it all the time, though it seems to be the one thing I hardly do. I feel that things that have happened in my life are unique. I am sure many have that feeling. But to me they were so that I crave normalcy and I know I will for the rest of my life. My life's ambition is to have a family that I will love as my family has loved me. Without them, I wouldn't have much to stand on and I wish to continue this family when God allows. Then why the urge to write and to be heard?

I was looking at Invitation to a Beheading again last night and thinking of the main character, Cincinnatus C. For a minute I could empathize, and it was something I couldn't really do before. He lives in an imaginary world, where the rules are quite ridiculous and you never really know when you time is coming. The worst of all, he is not free. Now this is an extreme, that this Russian author (incredible author I might add), took from his own life experience. But as all readers do I took it to my own experience. You can't help but to do so.

How many people look to what is going on in the outside world and think of it as some kind of act? This can't be real. It is so ridiculous that it can't be real. The absurd rules the incredible actions people take. I related that to the experiences of Cincinnatus C, and I see that there Nabokov was making fun of the rules of an overbearing bureaucratic state. There are so many laws, you are not 100% sure if you are breaking any of them. I heard a politician say on the news the other day that he never believed that taxation as a form of coercion. But that too is a limitation of freedom. What would happen if you were a conscientious objector to paying taxes? If you refused to pay though you had the money... Even if you didn't have the money; you would go to prison. First, they take everything you have... to pay back of course, then you go to prison. How is that not coercive? How is that free? So, as the laws increase, as the taxes increase, as government increases, you start to notice influence in your individual lives.

We are not in the prison of Cincinnatus C, but I am starting to understand what that would be like. I can empathize and I don't like that at all. For instance, there are certain things in which I object to morally. I pretty obvious one, I think that abortion is a sin and to pay for one is grounds for excommunication from the church. So I ask, for the United States government to subsidize such a sin is it then a sin to subsidize the government? When does it get to the point that it is an sin to pay taxes to the government? Or does it get to that point. Does it get to the point of prison or sin? Of course, Jesus did say to pay Cesar what is Cesar's and God what is God's. It doesn't make the actions of our elected officials right. It is also still forcing the hands of many to pay for what the few believes is right. Is that truly what is right for the United States?

That is one reason I feel compelled to write. Just complete confusion of why people believe things are going well? To me it seems obvious that things are not always going to be good for the United States if we keep heading the direction we are. I feel that my life experience is one that can show why the life lived by liberal ideas can lead to disaster. But right now, I am getting over a migraine and am actually rather surprised I can write. Other than that, where is the time when you are trying to run a small business that doesn't function without your support. Part of me thinks God has plans for my writing, but I am not sure of when he wants me to use it. Is that crazy to think that?

No, I don't think so. God has plans for everyone, it is just learning to accept that and go with the flow. Okay, I am a bit too light headed to continue now. So till next time.