Sunday, August 16, 2009

Considering International Adoption

I was looking at international adoption for the first time. Since my infertility problems I am not giving up, but being realistic. It may be years before I even have one baby, if I have one at all. I am in the later part of my twenties and fertility does decline once you reach your thirties... That cannot be good for me one way or another. There is a possibility of me getting pregnant. I am loosing weight and actively trying still, but again, reality sets in at some point... It was three years for me.

I was watching a news story about orphans in South Africa. I can't seem to find it at this time. But I was thinking of the situation these other children are in, in orphanages overseas. Then I think of the situation of my own upbringing and just having the opportunity of being an American opens many more doors than they would not have in their country of origin. Think of those in Haiti. No matter what, they will never even have the opportunity that the poor here have in the US. This is a country close to our shores and they go on little boats risking their life to make it to our shores all the time. I see this on the news here in South Florida. They wouldn't do that if their country had so much for them there.

So what you could give to these children is so much. So, that is what I am basing where I adopt. I want to be able to have a family, and give another an opportunity of a good life. Though I have to say it is hard to find programs for South Africa, and Haiti has a restriction of being 30 years old. So, I am not sure where to go.

On almost all you tube videos and new stories about these international adoptions I see criticism of "why would you not want to adopt American children?", "There are plenty of babies here that need homes." Well, I don't know others' reasons, but I can provide my own. I am afraid of open adoptions and even with closed adoptions, the courts influence on families here in the US. I fear of gaining the love of a child and having it ripped from me because some natural relative of the child felt that the child should be theirs. I know that I couldn't take that, and so have closed off to the idea of domestic adoption. Also, the costs equal out if you end up having to pay for all medical costs and everything involved in supporting a mother here in the US.

Well, seeing the "Door of Hope" or whatever the door was called in the South Africa orphanage is what made me think of it. So now I'm in the process of searching out different agencies. My mother is a social worker that has worked with the different agencies before and is familiar with home studies, so I am using her as well right now. Any information left on international adoption would be much appreciated. I know if I do go forward with this it will still be a year or so off, but it is as good of a time as any to learn about it.

I am really ready to have a family. I have been for awhile. I realized that was what was more important. The baby doesn't necessarily have to come from my husband and I.

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