Monday, October 08, 2012

Further OCD Mess

I've had a good stent of time where I was happy and sane. I don't know if I give credit to the medication or to other changes in my life. One way or another, I was sane. Then a few days ago, just like a switch, my OCD came back. I've had episodes where I feel completely crazy and want to cry. You fight compulsions, that is probably why I feel crazey. I am heavily obsessing and avoiding compulsions other than some counting. I've read all I can about OCD, so that doesn't help me anymore. So now I going to a top specialist and see what happens there. I hope I have a good review when I am done. If not I am told I will go to a top specialist in NYC. I am thinking this one will be good enough though. I don't have much confidence in my current doctor, though he did actually get my symptoms down for awhile. I just don't like that he doesn't respect my faith as well. I just know I don't want to go back to him telling him symptoms have returned. I want off my meds... I don't think that is a possibility though. I will have to discuss it with the new psychiatrist that I have to travel about an hour and a half to get to by the way. I guess that isn't too bad. I just the traffic that it takes to get there. But that will be fine all the same. I fear most of all telling someone new all about my experiences.I have to go back through my paperwork to make sure I wrote everything down...

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