Needles

I spent the morning having blood drawn. Have you ever had glucose tolerance test? That is a nightmare for anyone who is scared of needles. They have to take blood three times in two hours. By the end both of my arms were sore. The technicians always tell me how I need to drink more water. I have been cursed with a phobia I think I picked up from an episode from the Twilight Zone and bad veins.



I just have resolved never to look at the needle rather if it is me or anyone else having blood drawn. Regardless, I can't help but feel faint by the time I get back in the car to go home.

Luckily there is not much more to endure of infertility testing. I have one more x-ray to go. God help me, I hope this helps to something. Now this is enough for me. I have had a headache and can't bear staring at this screen anymore.

Shorter Posts, Happy President's Day

I figured out if I do not do quick posts I will not post at all. No reason other than time during the day. I wonder how any full time worker can keep one of these things up unless this is part of your job.

There are a couple of things that I wanted to bring up of interest. One, happy President's Day! I thought this was interesting. So historians can accurately say how our president who just left office is ranked with all other presidents in history? There is too much political beliefs imposed on this... Especially with Roosevelt's ranking. I am also surprised that any president is ranked over our President Washington. Without Washington leaving office we would not have the tradition of the presidency in the first place, he left after two terms.

Another, I had an idea to post on my upbringing and how I turned out with ideals opposite to my parents. My brother is very liberal and I am very conservative. But, now I am watching a program on the McCain campaign and conservatives in the country... Of course, I don't think of those who support McCain with fervor as very strong conservatives. I am waiting for them to show everyone as idiots. We will see.

Talk to you later.

No more in vitro

Now to another subject that effects me personally and I hate that I find out just now. The Vatican reaffirmed its stance on fertility issues, and confirmed their stance against in vitro fertilization.

I have found this out after my first appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist and also in discussing in vitro as an option (with all others failing of course). Thankfully it seemed I would have had more options before this anyway. First I have to check if there is anything else other than that and we also have other fertility options before we get to this. The reason I made it this far is because of my PCOS and my use of Clomid already about 3-4 times without success.

Well, I don't feel broken up about this. I never wished to do anything immoral when it came to starting my family. I wouldn't have thought to look it up so soon if it wasn't for the mother who just had eight babies after already having six. I could not imagine being in her place and I wonder how she is going to do this as a single mother. Of course, there is always the possibility that she could be picked up by TLC. That brings up the point of some of these methods of fertility treatment do seem rather questionable in thier techniques. I had thought before that as long as you use all eggs that invitro would be appropriate, but that is not the case. Also, there is the high possibility that I would be in the place as this women (except not single). John and Kate plus eight is not my idea of an ideal family. I just wish to have a child. I will do with whatever God provides for me.

Tomorrow I trying one other option. I am seeing if a doctor will let me do this weight loss procedure. It isn't bypass or lapband (I don't weight enough for that). It is something new. I will write more on it if I decide to go forward with it. This may give me a healthier pregnancy and a possibility at a perfectly natural one. I pray that it works.

Obama's first few days

Here are the Executive Orders and Memoranda that Obama passed in the first few days:

1. Ethics Commitments by Executive Branch Personnel
2. Presidential Records
3. Freedom of Information Act
4. Pay Freeze
5. Transparency and Open Government
6. Review and Disposition of Individuals Detained at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base and Closure of Detention Facilities
7. Review of Detention Policy Options
8. Ensuring Lawful Interrogations
9. Review of the Detention of Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri
10. Mexico City Policy and Assistance for Voluntary Population Planning

I could only find all of the orders listed on the site for the executive branch. Now #10 is one that I found most interesting. Obama waited until Friday to sign off on this memoranda with hardly any coverage while everything else was signed publically on Wednesday and Thursday. I found out about this by reading Catholic.org and I have been genuinely waiting and watching to see what Obama would do. Especially since hearing about Guantanamo Bay being closed I have been worried about President Obama's decisions. Now our federal tax dollars are being used to assist with abortions around the world while our president is being praised for his humanitarian efforts? That truley makes no sense to me. Why is abortion so important to some women? Is having a baby that bad? I've thought that before dealing with my own infertility. I feel angry that so many are so eager to commit this mortal sin and act as if it is something we can compromise on. Christians see abortion as the same as murder, there really is no room for compromise.


Now in regards to Guantananamo-Bay, this order scares me. This is where we keep suspectecd terrorists! My question is where are they putting these guys? I sure would not want them near my place or near any of my family even if they are in prison. Why? Prisoners escape! These would be especially dangerous. You have to know there is something wrong when Chavez commends you on anything. The only idea I can slightly agree with is suggested here, reopen Alcatraz. At least with Alcatraz there is a cold body of water between them and us!

Well, that is it for me now. Let's see what will happen next.

Our new president

I was told to post quickly before people may think I'm an Obama supporter from the previous post. I assumed that my stance would be obvious, but I will go on. I've found this worship of our new president quite disturbing honestly. I haven't seen this with any previous presidents. I've watched as much coverage as my job allows and was able to catch the inauguration speech in my car getting lunch.

I think if he started requiring worship of everyone we would see people bowing to him chanting "All Hail Obama". Seriously, does this not disturb anyone else? This is stuff that usually only appears in third world countries or dictatorships. That is why I put up the poster on the previous post. The poster looks more like something for Hitler or Lenin.

One great thing about our country is that we don't all agree. I respect President Obama as our new president, but that does not mean that all other views died. He did not win an overwhelming majority as the press publishes.

Also, was anyone disgusted at people booing at Bush and the blatant disrespect given as he left office? He wasn't my favorite president ever, but he was still a good president.

Well, those are one of my few frustrations recently. I have to go to bed.

Inaguration Speech

Above is a poster from Obama/Biden Campaign I saw multiple locations. Below is the inaugeration speech of our 44th president, President Obama (source):

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sanh.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

Human Freedom and Christ's Kingship

Here is a message from the pope I thought good to post today. Here is the link to the article on Catholic.org.

"He is the king of the entire universe," the pope said, "but the critical point, the place where his kingdom is at risk, is our heart, because there God encounters our freedom. We, and not only we ourselves, can block him from reigning over us, and can therefore pose obstacles to his reign over the world: over the family, over society, over history. We men and women have the ability to choose with whom to ally ourselves: with Christ and his angels, or with the devil and his followers, to use the language of the Gospel itself. It is up to us to decide whether to practice justice or iniquity, whether to embrace love and forgiveness or vengeance and murderous hatred.

"Our personal salvation depends on this, but also the salvation of the world. This is why Jesus wants to include us in his reign, this is why he invites us to collaborate with the coming of his Kingdom of love, of justice and peace. It is up to us to respond to him, not with words, but with actions: by choosing the way of practical and generous love toward our neighbor, we permit Him to extend his lordship over time and space."

As for the moment of judgment, "the Son of Man in his glory, surrounded by his angels, acts like the shepherd who separates the sheep from the goats, putting the just on his right and the wicked on his left. He invites the just to enter into the inheritance prepared for them from eternity, while he condemns the wicked to the eternal fire, prepared for the devil and for the other rebel angels. The criterion of judgment is decisive. This criterion is love, practical charity toward our neighbor, especially toward the 'least,' the people in the greatest difficulty: hungry, thirsty, strangers, naked, sick, in prison. The king solemnly declares to all that what they have done or not done toward the least, they have done or not done to Him. This means that Christ identifies himself with his 'least brethren,' and the final judgment will be the reckoning of what has already taken place in earthly life.

"Dear brothers and sisters," Benedict XVI concluded, "this is what is important to God. He does not care about historical royalty, but wants to reign in the hearts of persons, and from there over the world."

In mass today they had the reading was Mathew 25:31-46. Hope everyone has a great day!

This election and the Republican base

For better or for worse the country has elected a new President to start off his term in the new year. No suprise on my part as to the outcome and when it came down to it, I was not horribly dissappointed either. I still have great faith in our country and pray for it's leaders. I do pray that they make sound and moral decisions and that this nation made the right decision in the end. This does not mean that I will be singing the praises of our first African American President. I am a realist and the color of his skin really does not matter to me. I find that supporting someone based on the color of their skin versus their merits is a backward step for any who do believe racism is a problem in this country. I personally believe that this country has many good people and racism was really overplayed.

I have read of the need of reorganization of the Republican Party. Some believe in the return to the party of Reagan while others believe in the progression and moderation of the party. This election does prove that the party needs to go to principles that the American people believe in or I believe it's popularity will continue to fade. I do listen to Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh most days when work allows, and I have to say that it was a rarity to find an avid McCain supporter. That was why McCain lost: people firmly believed in Obama in the democratic party, the Republicans knew that they did not want Obama and thus voted for McCain out of necessity. I believe many dropped their support for the Republican party as McCain bashed conservative religious leaders at the first of the campaign. It took McCain's choice of Sarah Palin for me to back him, but that was from my morbid hope that somehow she would have taken countrol of presidency sometime during the following four years. For many others, I am sure that was not enough. McCain is far from a populist and is an honorable man, which is why I respect him, but he also is no conservative.

For now my view is to sit back and see what happens to the party. If it returns to it's religious conservative base then I may vote with them again, but if this party's leaders go further to the left I will be looking elsewhere for leadership and I am not speaking of the democratic party either.

Freedom of Choice Act

I want to point people's attention to an article that was sent to me today. This caused me to look up the Freedom of Choice Act.

I also found it on Barack Obama's site, you can google it:

When South Dakota passed a law banning all abortions in a direct effort to have Roe overruled, I was the only candidate for President to raise money to help the citizens of South Dakota repeal that law. When anti-choice protesters blocked the opening of an Illinois Planned Parenthood clinic in a community where affordable health care is in short supply, I was the only candidate for President who spoke out against it. And I will continue to defend this right by passing the Freedom of Choice Act as president.

Please read the bill yourself from what I linked to above. Here are some interesting facts that I came across that this bill would impose on the American people:

Michael Moses, legal analyst of the United States Council of Catholic Bishops called it a "radical measure" that will "go way beyond Roe [vs. Wade]." The language is so sweeping that it will wipe out any state's "conscience" clause, which is the law that allows hospitals, doctors and nurses to abstain from taking part in abortion for reasons of conscience. If abortion is a "fundamental right", according to FOCA, then every hospital must provide it.

I've come across more than one article that states that there is no longer room for conscientious objection based on religious belief.

In Maryland, Freedom of Choice-type legislation has been on the books since 1991. Since that time, Maryland law has provided for abortion on demand even late in pregnancy, granted abortionists immunity from legal action, allowed abortionists the discretion to perform abortions on minors without notifying a parent, and denied health care workers the right to refuse to make abortion referrals as a matter of conscience.[13] This has not led to a reduction of abortions in the state, but appears to actually have had the adverse effect of increasing the abortion rate in Maryland.

And there is a question of how many hospitals this will close and also how many quality health care providers will have to choose between their medical license or their faith.

Please think of these things before voting for Obama. For someone like me, this trumps everything. If McCain was a supporter of this bill and I agreed with everything else he supported, I still could not vote for him. The protection of life is of utmost importance.

Finally, this article, which I linked to in the first of the post as well had a quote I think every Catholic and everyone who supports Obama should read:

Pro-life Catholics will face different, if equally grave, dilemmas. The bishops already find themselves defending the Catholic integrity of Catholic hospitals under pressures from state governments; those pressures, as well as pressures on doctors and other Catholic health-care professionals, will increase in an Obama administration, especially if FOCA succeeds in knocking down state conscience-clause protections for Catholic health-care providers and institutions. And should an Obama administration reintroduce large-scale federal funding of abortion, the bishops will have to confront a grave moral question they have managed to avoid for decades, thanks to the Hyde amendment: does the payment of federal taxes that go to support abortion constitute a form of moral complicity in an "intrinsic evil"? And if so, what should the conscientious Catholic citizen do?

Till next time!

New iPhone

I had the instinct till yesterday. I got the phone the day it came out. Well, I have to admit I had problems with it since the day it came out. Still, there were certain things I liked about it. For instance, downloading and playing music with the instinct is one of it's best fetures, and typing is very easy with the instinct (I could use my fingernails which I can't with the iPhone). Other than that the phone lacked the ability to multitask. If I had a text come in and my phone wrang then it would freeze. Voicemail always caused it to freeze especially when you had several in your recently missed application that popped up. For that reason it is a horrible business tool. Blackberry still has no competition there. Lastly, the battery life was horrible. I had to change the battery two to three times a day depending on how much I used it.

Now I have the iPhone. This is my first day to use it and I have to say if this posts then this is something the instinct never let me do. Blogger didn't work on it. The typing function isn't too bad with the autocorrect function, but I still wish I could use my nails. I do know already the Internet browser is better here. I am going to have to test the mail. I have 4 email accounts I use regularly.

I will have to get back to you on which is better. I just got the new phone because I hate Sprint. I just want to let you know you can have multiple lines, a business account, be a preferred customer and their customer service will still be rude. Now I just hope this product is better and that ATT is as well. Till next time!

Others "Why I support McCain"

To go along with the last post I decided to look up on Google blog search "why I support McCain." Just for the hell of it. Same type of thing as the last. Here we go:

1. Blogger supports McCain because of his past military service to country, shows a motivation of desire to serve the country currently, he stands for his core principles, he believes life begins at conception, believes in winning war against terrorism and others (long post and hard to put into one sentence).

2. Blogger stated he supports McCain for he effectively argues against leftist arguments.

3. Blogger supports McCain because of being prolife, service to country, supporting sanctity of marriage, supporting home schooling, morals, and preserving American Heritage.

4. Blogger supports McCain because of upholding human dignity and right to human life.

5. Blogger supports McCain because he understands basics of our economy, because of his leadership capabilities in fighting corruption, and experience to lead our country and will not be pushed around.

6. Blogger supports McCain because everyone's taxes will be lower and McCain's health care bill is cheaper.

7. Blogger said that McCain was able to stand up against Reagan with the Beirut Barracks bombing. (I have to admit I don't remember that one)

8. Blogger said they support McCain because he is a hero and that the blogger respects honor over reputation.

9. Blogger said they understand that we can't pull out of Iraq too quickly and feels safer with McCain.

10. Blogger said they believe McCain is lead more by Jesus Christ.

Time for bed, so I will follow up further on yesterday's post and today's post tomorrow. Goodnight!

Others "Why I support Obama"

I've been trying to find why people are supporting Barak Obama. I did google blog search of "Why I support Obama" because I didn't want to get news (and skipped over news blogs). I am not going to post the blogs that came up because I don't wish for the particular bloggers to think I am attacking them individually (people really get personal about this stuff). I also did not use any blogs I am linked to currently. This is the views of ten bloggers in their individual posts:

1. Blogger doesn't believe in the Zionists

2. Blogger believes in socialized medicine, believes in "spreading the wealth", taking troops out of an illegal war,

3. Blogger believes Obama will be a liberal supporter of Israel

4. Blogger says they like Obama's message of "hope" and "change", to clarify, hope of improvement from Bush and change from negative politics from McCain and Palin.

5. Blogger believes because Obama was a Constitutional Law Professor that he will uphold and defend the Constitution.

6. Blogger supports Obama because of his disability plan listed on his site.

7. Blogger said that he has temperament of leader, wants to bring us together, he is young, energetic and slow to anger.

8. Blogger says because the war is based on lies, because of Republicans terrorizing us saying they are the only ones who can protect United States, abortion, and they don't like Sarah Palin.

9. Blogger is a veteran who supports bringing an end to the Iraq War and that Obama brings renewed patriotism and hope.

10. Blogger believes in Obama economic plan, in foriegn affairs, and coming from multicultural background will be good for the US. I believe the blogger is saying that they like how Obama is mixture of east and western cultures.

This was done out of real curiosity. I have not had someone give me reasons for their support of this candidate. I have received answers like 4, 7, 8 (very common). I have to admit that 1 and 3 is amusing that I got that.

Actually I will have to continue this post at another time, so no depth, I have to drive home and will have no internet there. So till the next time I have internet!

Short Post

And this article about a woman who had a "B" carved on her face.

Can only use the computer while working, so I'm not going to put up much at this time. You can make your own judgement on these. I am just appauled by actions of radicals in this country.

I'll write later:)

UPDATE:

Ha, it seems the girl carved the "B" on her own face. Freakin' people.

Immigration and Palin (again)

I have to say that much that I have heard about Palin has been on personal level and her social conservative stances. What about in other areas. For instance, what is her stance on immigration? Do they even have a problem with this in Alaska?

Now McCain did hit a hot ticket when it comes to someone relating to the rest of the country with energy, but immigration is hardly heard of and that worries me. I looked it up and there is article after article that says that she is silent in that arena. This is a big deal in Florida. There are protesters every weekend in my area from the policies of having a "sanctuary city."

What does this mean? We have an under class in this society. This is almost like an unspeakables, I think that is in Indian culture but I am not sure. These are people that are brought to this country (believe me they could not make it to my area otherwise, they ride bikes for transportation), for no other reason to be servers. Supposedly to do work that whites will not, though I saw them do the same jobs not too many years ago. They have no rights as citizens and they will not because of thier status. How are they different from slaves?

Now the argument is that this is better than their country. Now I am sure it is, but how will they ever make their country better if they are not there. We work for our country, why can't they work for theirs?

Okay enough of that, I meant to write on Palin and not immigration. Basically, I am not completely sold. This is even with Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh seeming to be perfectly behind her and other strong conservatives. I think the reason I am not mainly is because I have never seen McCain as a conservative and I don't understand how just picking her makes him one.

Will he actually take a more conservative stance? Or is he just using her to bring in the votes? I should be happy with just her, but I need to see more of her to decide and see more of her without just constant attacks. Can't people just ask her questions without attacking her? I have lost faith in the media long ago, but I keep watching with hope to get some accurate information.

Enough ranting I am about to fall over in exhaustion. Drank night quill before writing this and my eyes are growing heavier and heavier. Surprised I can get coherent thoughts out. Goodnight!

Hurricane Ike

I've been on and off the phone with my parents since Ike hit. I'm sure you've heard that the entire Houston metropolitan area is without power. I've been trying to talk them into going to Central Texas to stay with my brother, but they insist on riding this one out at home. Though no power, the school has power for air conditioning and my dad doesn't feel like in getting caught on the road with everyone else leaving the area.

So hopefully the electric companies can get everything together soon. I thank God not too many problems have occurred otherwise. Their home is fine, but they aren't close to the coast. I do pray for those who lost more to the storm. Thankfully not too many lives were lost.

And they get a sort of break tonight, a cold front.

Well, I've been focusing on getting information to my parents. They haven't been through a hurricane since the 60s, but they seem okay. Cleaning out the pool and barbecuing. My only experience was Katrina and thankfully we have been good so far this season in my area in Florida.

But other than problems with those idiots who didn't evacuate in the mandatory evacuation zones, Texas seems so far to be handling this well enough. Let's see how long it takes to get the electricity back!

Palin and the Conservative Base

One of my Aunt's who I consider a strong conservative woman told me when Hillary was first running for president about how she had girls who said that they would not vote for her based on the fact that they didn't think a woman could be a president. For that reason, she felt she should. I heard that argument more than one time, as I am sure that same reasoning has been used on several occasions for more than one candidate during this election. At that time. I didn't say anything in response. I was actually quite surprised that she was taking quite an emotional stance on who she wants to be president. I did have another woman in my family tell me the other day that she would still be writing in Hillary. It was the only logical choice she could think of. For what reason? She would be a woman president.

When I heard of Sarah Palin the first time I really didn't know what to think. I had heard Rush Limbaugh one afternoon mention her in passing, but other than that, what regular working American knows of the governor of Alaska unless you would happen to be from that area? I went ahead and listened to her acceptance speech and read up on her. Basically, I wanted to know as much as I could on her. Though I have to say that my initial response was excitement. I heard another woman say a similar thing on the radio today, don't remember the show, that she understood the emotional response to Obama for the first time. Here was someone that a regular woman could relate too. Not a former first lady that wears nothing but pant suits. No this is a woman with a family who actually built up a political career. She did so with doing what she THOUGHT WAS RIGHT as well, not what was popular. Initial response was quite exciting. I have to admit there was an emotional response to this. I expected possibly a similar response from others.

So I called around and I watched for response. But it wasn't there. Those who say that they vote for Hillary because she was a woman responded that they would not vote for just any woman that McCain through their way. They wouldn't vote for an inexperienced woman that he could throw out. She was no different from what was of the regular administration today. That this was a weak attempt to persuade women to vote for McCain.

These women were lying to themselves and to me when they said that they were voting for a woman. They were voting for a woman of their generation and of the old liberal and populist ideals. They still would never consider a strong conservative woman with love of her family and her country as one that could rise to power. That very much goes against everything they believe in.

I want to say I can't believe the response to McCain and Palin ticket, but I can. It is still an emotional and socialist attack. When I look more at the pick for Palin, I don't think there is anyway that this was an attempt to get to the feminists or the women who were going to vote for Hilary. No, McCain should be close enough to the stance of Hilary to do that on his own. This was an attempt to gather up his base.

Everyone of the Republican Party's regular base were waiting and wanting for McCain to give them something, anything to show that he was not taking the Republican Party in the same way as the Democratic one. Yet time after time he was disowning conservatives and giving into the ideas of the left. This is shown in him still stating in his belief in climate change problems and his stance on immigration (which I am still curious of what Palin has to say on this). Every conservative thought he would pick another left leaning Republican, then bye bye base. They/we aren't exactly loyal to any party, only to what they/we believe is right.

Palin is exactly what the country needs. There are many that wish that she had been there in the presidential campaign earlier. She is a Christian and she shows in her life that she lives by Christian morals. Though as my husband has pointed out, her life could be played as a lifetime movie. She has made good decisions and she has proven that she can run a state government.

Well, in the end, I think McCain has won my vote... For now... I won't say 100%. He still has time to mess this up. But Palin was literally a perfect fit for those who had lost faith in the party. That is something that the media will never wrap their head around, the beliefs and morals of a majority of middle America. The fact that she is a woman is more of a slap in the face to feminists rather than a way of getting them to come over to the Republican Party. She shows further of feminists failure. The women that I spoke of earlier probably won't vote for McCain/Palin, but this is certainly something that shows their hypocrisy which is definitely good enough for me.

That is enough of a rant. Goodnight!

New Business and Anxiety

Well, I am not still in New England. I just realized that I haven't posted since my trip. Nothing too interesting to speak of. I had an okay time but in the end I couldn't fully enjoy it because Art couldn't. So yet again, failed vacation.

I am no longer unemployed. Now I am definitely self employed. Which means I go to an office every day and work on my own. No boss, just me. Which I find myself to be quit tough enough without anyone else over me. It is difficult to designate hours especially when you are starting off and trying to start the cash flow of the company. But I am ever hopeful.

Now brings us to today.

Its about one in the morning and I still can't sleep. I've had a lot on my mind recently though I must confess. Some I can't mention and some have been mentioned before. Infertility is always on my mind. It is a drive to have a better life style. A want for a better body or at least similar to the one I had. I got on a bike the other day and I rode it down the block. A text message went through and I stopped to check and see who it was. When I stopped an overwhelming nausea came over me. I was seeing spots and had trouble breathing. I was steady enough to set down my bike and set myself on the grass, but I didn't have the energy to do anything else. I was there for a little while before I even text Art. By the time he text back I was able to call and speak. He thinks I had a panic attack, it is possible. Regardless at that moment I thought my body failed me and I was too scared to go on. I didn't think it was my nerves at the time, but I would be lying if I said it wasn't.

So I am trying to be a little more conscience of what I eat. I need to get over my anxiety in other areas. I had to force myself to get on that bike and to ride out that day. Its like this fear of people seeing me, what if I do something wrong. A bunch of stuff comes up in my mind. Not very helpful right now. Isn't exercise suppose to decrease anxiety?

Other than above mentioned. Business is always over my head. When you work on your own, you are literally doing everything. That is a little weird to me. Everything also rides on me. If it fails, I failed. That is a lot of pressure. If I don't make it. I will probably have to go work for an a-hole again. Which that is a big portion of my drive in the first place. Even with that, it isn't saying I am not excited and that I can't do well.

Well, we will see how things go. Enough of my personal life.

Layover

Since a week to two weeks ago, I've had the most unusual time. I started a new job. It sounded like a great opportunity and the hours were better. I should have realized that it wasn't what it seemed. I don't want to get too much into it, but just as I alluded to in the earlier post they completely lied about what my responsibilities were. It does seem that this business has a lot of shady characters, or maybe its just South Florida. I'm not sure.

So I was in this position that promised more money, less time and I believed it stable. But this past week I was in a position where I felt quitting was my only option. So I left. If I wanted to be caught in an uncomfortable position I would of preferred to stay at my previous job where I had at least knew everyone from 2 years of history with the company. But that wasn't everything.

Step back a week. My plumbing had failed on more than one occasion. Lets just say that I lived through the house being flooded for the third time and had enough of it. We decided, we both have jobs; we both have extra money; I am going to get out of there. First place we looked, the perfect house. Pool in the back, the same size if not bigger than the house we had in Texas. Also, we had a great family neighborhood with a shoreline park walking distance from the house. We got approved. Everything was wonderful.

Well, that all went out the window without the security of two positions. So we are back today. We called back the guy we rent from, got the place back. No reason to risk the funds of moving. Of course, our plumbing is still broken after our landlord came to fix it two times already.

So we said f-it, we are out of here. I am on a layover right now on our way to the New England area. Not too sure where we are going, but hey good timing. If you look at the weather a hurricane is headed right for our home state, possibly our county.

So I will let you know how it goes. Life is interesting.

This sucks... Yet again

Actually it has been a few years since I was unemployed, but even now I remember how miserable it was. I don't feel to bad about it this time. There is nothing like moving from a stable position to one where they lied to you about its stability and exactly what your role would be and pretty much everything about the position. So, I am once again unemployed. But I am optimistic as I said before.

I will actively search and put myself out everywhere and hope that I get a bite, an interview or anything soon. Since I am a recruiter, might as well work on the side. I am good at it.

Lets see how this goes.

MT 13:1 - 23

On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

The disciples approached him and said,
“Why do you speak to them in parables?”
He said to them in reply,
“Because knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven
has been granted to you, but to them it has not been granted.
To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich;
from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away.
This is why I speak to them in parables, because
they look but do not see and hear but do not listen or understand.
Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled in them, which says:
You shall indeed hear but not understand,
you shall indeed look but never see.
Gross is the heart of this people,
they will hardly hear with their ears,
they have closed their eyes,
lest they see with their eyes
and hear with their ears
and understand with their hearts and be converted,
and I heal them.

“But blessed are your eyes, because they see,
and your ears, because they hear.
Amen, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people
longed to see what you see but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear but did not hear it.

“Hear then the parable of the sower.
The seed sown on the path is the one
who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it,
and the evil one comes and steals away
what was sown in his heart.
The seed sown on rocky ground
is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
But he has no root and lasts only for a time.
When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word,
he immediately falls away.
The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word,
but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word
and it bears no fruit.
But the seed sown on rich soil
is the one who hears the word and understands it,
who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.”

Happy 4th of July!

Hello everyone. Just stopping by to say happy 4th of July! I always loved this holiday. There are always barbeque's and fire work displays. Growing up this was always a holiday where I was with family. Of course at this time most of my family is scattered. My brother in San Antonio, my father in Huntsville and my mother practically across the globe from us all at this time. I am down here in South Florida with my in laws and an overly anxious dog when it comes to fireworks and thunderstorms. Needless to say it makes the summer a headache here.

But regardless I think it is good to remember what makes this country great and to remember that patriotism is still a good thing when you are from a great country where there is reason to be proud. The 4th of July is to celebrate the freedom from Britain and the end of our fight for independence. Strangely enough I believe that this entire fight started from unfair taxation and it also crazy to think of the progress this nation has gone through since its start. We expanded all the way from the east to the west and we became an incredibly powerful country. Some seem ashamed about this power. I think it is better to be one of the powerful than to be one on the other side. It isn't like the American People didn't work hard to get to that place. I believe next to Japan we probably have one the most competitive countries when it comes to work and growth. Where else can people advance from rags to riches. We all have the ability to advance to incredible positions. I believe that is something great about this country that we should always fight to maintain. The freedom to pursue happiness.

Well, I am going to try and enjoy the holiday. It is great looking back and seeing pictures from 4th of July since I started this. There sure have been many changes. Hope to keep it going for awhile longer....

Time for warm milk....

I can't seem to sleep so it seems as good of time as any to write. The main things on my mind involve work and the fact I just accepted a position elsewhere. It is a little nerve wracking moving from my comfort zone of the position I've been at for the past two years. But I have to remember why I am leaving, respect, money and more time. The ultimate goal. Working for less hours and for more money. It is hard to come by with someone of my work background... which these two years is about all I have.

I spent about a week negotiating the rate and everything for the position. I feel like I moving to an executive position with how long it has taken to get hired on. Though that is definitely not the case.

Enough about work, there is plenty else going on in the world. I feel at times disconnected. Every time I look to the TV though, I can hardly believe what I hear. For instance, does anyone really like these presidential candidates? And if you do, can you provide a LEGITIMATE answer as to why? For the life of me I really do not understand. It appears to me we have a liberal and a communist running against each other. Can you guess which would be each role? Is there really a difference. Its a toss up to me.

Yeah, I use to hate labels, but I really don't care anymore. There seem to be quite legitimate reasons for labels. There is not some way to understand the reason why everyone feels the way they do. Some people just come about their decisions because they "feel like it" or by faith. Now, as a person of faith I do not count against anyone who may come to their decisions with the backing of faith... Provided they still have some amount of reason behind it. And Saint Thomas Aquinas proved many years ago that we can come to decisions on faith WITH the backing of reason. Though I do ask one thing, if you do come by your decision upon faith alone, WHY WON'T YOU AT LEAST ADMIT IT. Few will on the side of liberalism, and no it isn't just the guidance of Ann Coulter that lead me to these thoughts. You realize this in basic conversations.

For instance, try bringing up the topic of abortion or gay rights? Can you legitimately argue these with most people? No you can't. Most people will make decisions on these topics based upon faith and not reason. Now I do admit my faith does guide me with both. But once someone can convince me that gay rights and abortion go along with natural law... I will at least listen, and don't think I haven't read the argument before... At least with abortion.

Anyway. I am going to attempt to sleep again. Since I will be utterly shocked if more than my two to three fans reads this. Two of the three will read in disgust, but hey, what am I but truthful. Goodnight!

How to find a job?

Now if you are looking for a new position in a hurry, job seeking can be like a full time job in itself. It takes research, writing and primarily knowing how to correctly market yourself to the position that you believe you are eligible.

1. First it takes having knowledge of your work history and references. It is best to get your complete resume (at least the bread and butter of it, education, work history, etc). Now the reason I say the bread and butter is because you may be forming your resume differently or enhancing certain parts of your experience depending on position.

This actually takes time unless you are literally straight out of school. For example, I realized that I completely forgot my supervisor's name and contact information for one of my prior positions. I speak awhile trying to track it down to realize I would have to improvise because he did not appear to be there anymore.

2. Second I use all of the regular sites (or a few, there are definitely more):

indeed.com
simplyhired.com
careerbuilder.com
monster.com
linkedin.com

Apply to ANYTHING that sounds interesting to you. You never know what could happen. The last thing you want to do is to be too picky. Sometimes it is best to take what you can get and keep searching. You may not find your dream job right off the bat, but I am getting ahead of myself.

Put up your resume, MAKE IT PUBLIC. Don't be afraid of employers and recruiters contacting you. In today's day and age recruiters are your friend. I do not just say that because I am one. More than likely if a recruiter calls you for one position that you don't like, maybe he will know of others that might be a better fit. Hear them out, that is ALL THEY DO! They get people into positions, they look at resumes and they know of other employers that you might be interested in. Honestly, I would listen to opportunities even when you are not actively looking, you never know if they have a better deal.

Now you notice I DID NOT say get out your local newspaper. Yes, there are still positions on your ONLINE paper and the regular paper. In doing that you are missing most employment opportunities. You would be better off looking at Craigslist now a days than that. It is knowing where people are posting positions. Smaller companies might go for the free or cheaper sites, that is why you also use indeed.com or simplyhired.com which searches multiple sites at once.


3. Cover letter's are required! I do not apply for anything without a cover letter to the hiring manager. This entails of where I found the position, my skills that show why I am the ideal candidate for the position and about wanting an interview with the hiring manager in person.

Now this may also mean reading the description of each position and editing your resume as well before you submit it to bring out certain previous skills. As I said earlier, it can be like a full time position.

4. The interview! Yeah, it is great when you get to this point. Sometimes it takes a day and sometimes it takes a month. No matter how long it takes it is good to be PREPARED! Read up as much as you can on the company. It is actually not only to find out details to throw out in the interview to show you did your research, but you also want to protect yourself from falling into a crappy position or a scam. If they ask for money to take the position, RUN AWAY!

Back on topic, have two edited resumes with you to take to the interview with references included. Here is where you have to put in money, have a nice dark suit. Girls, no high heals or flashy tops (it is not always a horny guy you are interviewing with, and even if it is that is not the best way to start off a position). Guys, black or charcoal gray suit with black dress shoes and do not wear a red tie (or a purple one.. Which brings to mind). No crazy color's or backpacks. You should be business professional. Believe me it matters when you interview with many applicants, they will disqualify BEFORE YOU SPEAK if you dress wrong.

Be prepared of basic questions, why you were interested in the position particularly, about why you are making a move, where you see yourself in five years. Sometimes it is best to seriously think of those things before you go. They are going to expect answers.

Now BE PREPARED TO ASK QUESTIONS. You should know about what you are going into and try to find out as much as possible about the position when there. If you are nervous, write them down. I always bring in a pad and paper with me in a folder with my resume. There are usually details that I need and write before I leave.

5. Follow up after interview. Be sure to have name and number of the hiring manager and follow up to show your interest. Now do not stalk.... That might piss them off, but it doesn't hurt to try and keep your name in front of them. Some write thank you letters. I actually have not done this. If it is effective please let me know. I have written emails though to them, and sometimes that works.


Hopefully after going through a few interviews you will land something. I did accept one position during the interview. I do not think I will do that again. I prefer to go back home and discuss with my husband or ANYONE else about the position before I accept it. Want to make sure I am not crazy to other's standards for taking the position. Also, it sometimes is best to think things over.

6. My final tip is to be respectful of your previous employer no matter the reason leaving and give a two week notice. They may not take it, but it is best to not burn any bridges. You never know when you will need anything from someone you use to work with.

That brings me to conclusion. Even going through this entire process of finding a job, I can say that most jobs you will probably get is through NETWORKING. Tell friends and family that you are looking (as long as they are not connected with current employer if you are still working there). They may know someone looking. I don't know how many times that is how people get their next position. I almost moved to a new position because of someone I worked with previously was hiring at with their new employer. Those can be the best because you have an in.

Now, this reminds me that I could write a book on this stuff. It really isn't too complicated to figure out, but it is something that you SHOULD read up on if you haven't searched in awhile or if this is your first time.

Good luck to anyone else who is looking!

Fortune Teller

I had gone to a fortune teller when I was in Amarillo, twice. I was told that I will be living near the beach and will have a happy marriage. I will have four children. I remember the lady had me in tears the first time I was there. She told me to pray, that I had temporarily lost my way and to get out of that life quickly. I felt like she was reading my mind. She told me to close my eyes and to stick out my hand, but my eyes stayed open and she stared right into them.

The first time it was a creepy experience. She told me to keep everything to myself. Because I do not believe fully in the credibility of such people, I am posting on it. In fact the second time I went she gave quite faulty information. At the time I first went she said I have a question for her. I did have a question, but I was afraid to ask. My question was if the guy I was with was the one... The one for the great marriage, the four kids and the life on the beach. I did not ask though. I refused to. I was afraid of the answer because part of me knew that it was a no, but I wasn't ready to let go.

Well, regardless of what she said, I am married to a great guy and we live right near the beach. I don't know much about the others. She said I would meet one of my best friends in a position where I am sitting in front of a computer. She said that I would be a buisness woman that travels. I don't know what else. Doesn't sound too bad. It gives hope at least. She also gave such specific information I keep thinking, what the hell was she talking about. Maybe my entire life I think back to that lady every once and awhile and think of what she got right or wrong. I was thinking about it right now about the four kids with a life that she described. It sounds like a nice dream regardless of what is to come.

But I know to trust in God, but sometimes I wonder about the lives that God leads us on. Was he leading her? Was she a false profit? I don't know. It is just a memory that comes back to me every once and awhile.

Goodnight to any who read;)

Job Change?

I am contemplating going between positions.

Why? I feel like I have to ask myself. I have to be very sure that I am ready. I have a position where I am respected in my office and I have control over the day to day activities. But, the control only goes so far.

I work in recruiting or sales... Same difference to me. This job consists of long hours. I sit in my seat for nine hours a day. I work for commission, so I am driven for to not take breaks. I had times that I had trouble taking lunch. They don't have regular breaks, just 7-12 then lunch, 1-5 (usually 6pm), and I go home. It is close to home, so that is fine. I am just tired.

Also, the commission structure is fine for temporary employment, but when your client goes to permanent the commission is questionable. Then there is the turnover at my position, which hurts you because of everyone being teamed together.

I will stop bitching.... I do get along with the people, which was one thing that makes this hard. I have also made money off of this, but the last complaint is why it is not consistent. Someone will bank off my efforts though.

I have a friend who is waving more immediate money in front of me at another recruiting company. Now, there is the initial build up, but there is the larger commission, larger base and less hours. Not too much farther from home either.

So more pay for less hours is good. Now I just have to interview. I feel secure that I am going between positions right at my two year mark. It does seem like a good deal. I will let you know if I take it. The only thing that makes me not want to if I get pregnant... But I wouldn't have done a thing if I waited for everything because I might get pregnant. Why wait for something that may not happen for another year or ever?

I just leave it to God's hands. I asked for an out and he handed it to me. I can only believe that it is his work. Till next time...

Infertility

Not too long ago my OBGYN told me that I am infertile. Strangely enough it was on my birthday. I wasn't very surprised though. I'm not exactly an advocate of birth control and I've now been married for two years.

Well, my doctor put me on 50 mg of clomid because of having PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). Yes, same thing that Kate had on John and Kate + 8... In fact I think she got pregnant on he same stuff I'm on. I was glad to at least know what it was. Through this entire time I was thinking that all of these people growing up making us terrified of teenage pregnancy or getting pregnant from unsafe sex; and all the warnings of getting pregnant from just having sex once was absolutely crazy. They must be lying. Or maybe the formula to getting pregnant is getting REALLY drunk and then picking up someone at the bar for the night to where you have no clue what is going on in the morning. I've spoke with several single mothers. It seems to be an effective model. Well, I am not going to do that since I already have a husband and everything.

Well, I am on my first month of clomiphene or clomid and took day 4-8 as directed. I am using the basal thermometer and using a chart. I have a direct days to conceive and what not. I am not sure if I have ovulated or not. I think I might have, but that is the problem with PCOS is that you don't ovulate. The clomiphene (generic clomid) just created a surge of emotions and hotflashes. I kind of see why everyone says it is difficult time going through fertility treatment. It is like having PMS continuously through the month.

Well, I am day 15, so we will see how it goes. I pray that clomid works. Part of me thinks that it was God's gift giving me that answer and the medication on my birthday. Baby fever has been a frustration till now. Now I feel productive, like I am doing something to help this. I just hope I don't have twins or more. One is good.... But there is always the 10% chance of getting multiples. Look up multiples and clomid though. It looks pretty common on google.

So we will see how it goes.... Till next time...

Baby names

Though not pregnant, baby's are on the brain. I have talked with several girls and it seems to be norm for girls to have an idea of their future children's names before they are even married. I was thinking about that myself. I have no definite names in mind. I am not sure if it matters too much. But what would I use when I have kids? What would I name a boy or girl?

I do have one definite standard, the name has to be Christian. Just standard, other than that I guess this is something that goes on feeling and also it has to go with my last name, so nothing starting with the same letter.

Now I could also go with names in my and my husband's family (this is taking into effect above standards); Boy names : Frank, Duran, Jessie, Matthew, William, Joseph, Michael, Arthur, Salvatore, Eleazar, Alfredo. That is just a few... For Girl names: Anne or Ana, Mary or Mary Anne, Elizabeth, Claire, Marlyn, Barbara, Julie.

Now with these I am going no further than grandparents. I do have names past that, some of the girl names are pretty, but I don't have them with me.

Now there is also the possibility of using names from those inspirational or of famous figures that we admire... That sort of thing. For boys: Thomas (St. Thomas Aquinas), Theodore (president), William (William F. Buckley), Aristotle (maybe not, but just comes to mind)... I have to think more on that one. For girls: Anne (multiple figures and family ties, so this one is strong), Marie (this is my patron saint's name).

So what is my preference. If you can't tell I am more settled on girl name than boy. But no reason to rush into things.

New Post....

I am writing because I hate seeing that quiz on the top of my blog and there being no posts for the past year, but so life goes. You know I was thinking of past posts on my blog. I mean, this thing goes back years!

Amazing how time flies.

Anyway. I did posts on March 05, Nafisi, Nabokov and random thoughts. This was an interesting one when I look back on it. Especially how I said,

No, we do not have a repressive regieme where we feel helpless with the fear of death upon us. Yet we still lock ourselves into this materialistic world with the idea that it will make us happy.... That we have to find this perfect career to make us happy for the rest of our lives. What is the outcome? Well, in Jess's and my case it is going through the education system till we receive our Ph D's. What is the repayment of working away your youth? Why, more work... for security and stuff. Through this I am told never to marry till I'm done with school in my 30s and enjoy what you are forced to do. Hey you'll get plenty of vacation time when your too old to really enjoy it:)

Well, I do still think there is an illusion of the perfect career to some, but I'm not sure if that is the case anymore. No one stays in the same position for years; you can usually make more money from going to a new company once you have a few years experience. That is what I feel like I am doing... I am almost at that two year point of experienced recruiter, "ooo -aaah".

Not as prestigious as my original career path and what my mom chose, but it can be good for money if you pick the right industry and get with a company that won't rip you off (which from what I've heard is common).

I am just happy I have a place I can go to work that I can stand. Of course my job has now had the brilliant idea of moving the work place across the street from the beach. Now to some this might sound exciting. Imagine this, you look out at the window from morning before sunrise to evening when the sun is going down with only an hour in the sun each day. I can only think of it like having the seat at school looking out at the playground. You watch each and every recess period, but you get 1 hour. Except in my situation even that one hour I can't exactly go to stand on the beach in my work clothing.

So, I will stay at this a little longer and then see what comes about from there. Hope for higher base pay somewhere out there, better commission structure and the possibility for benefits... like what my parents had through the state... We can only dream.

Funny, how perspective on life can change. I was resistant to developing to the life I have here, but I am happier now. Regardless, all these developments of life no matter if materialistic or not are very much the order of human existence. Depression seems to develop from trying to get away from it.

Well, I've accomplished my goal. Got the quiz off the top. Now, I'll try not to be as scarce, but no promises. Life is unpredictable.

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
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My new car

Not the actual one, but close. Its a Chevy TrailBlazer!

Question who is corrupt

I was just thinking of the time that I first discovered that I was possibly more conservative than I and everyone else had thought. It was rather simple really. Have you ever taken those little political tests you find on the internet? I did love taking those for awhile. Maybe it was the idea of trying to find out who I really should be supporting. At that point I didn't really find myself on the side of the democrats. For instance, I always thought that beurocracy was really ineffective. Can anyone say that when the state takes over things that they run more effectively? Try to think of one.

The next point. I was no longer pro-abortion/pro-choice. I say no longer, because I use to be primarily because my parents are. What changed? New found understanding of life and the horrible effect that abortion has on society as a whole, for one because it is murder (most major point) and if you are one who won't believe that, there is also the point that it makes it where people do not accept responsibility of their actions. One way or another, the allowance of abortion is a major sin of our country.

Moving on, I had trouble understanding how I was a democrat at all. It was as if I voted for them for still having a fear of being labeled as a conservative or to be supportive of the republicans.... who have been labeled as corrupt. Then, I thought.... What proof is there of their corruption? I just took that as a given. The corrupt republican, who was controlled by the evil corporations that cared nothing of people. All they cared about were profit and anything to continue that profit. There was no true caring for the people of this country. So my view was to still vote democrat as a supporter of the people? Am I too far off from general thoughts of republican party. I thought to be a republican was to be stupid and to be closed off to the truth of their corrupt nature.

So the question comes, WHERE IS THE PROOF OF THE CORRUPTION? I was sitting at the computer a while back. Still professing myself as a liberal and I took a test that put my views as the same as Vice President Cheny. I was thinking to myself, are these really his views or is this his way of decieving the public. When I realized how damn paranoid my own thoughts sounded I decided to look further into his political views. I never found real proof of his corruption either. I just found the same paranoid response that originally popped up in my head that I kept questioning.

Before I knew it I started hearing the democratic party in a new light. I have a memory of being at a Dean political rally years ago and hearing people cheer over the gay rights. I sat still at that point looking out over the crowd. Forgive me if you are horribly offended by this, but that was never a point I supported even as a liberal. Just take it as my conservative biggotted family values that I was raised with (of course of you think that you obviously have no clue about my family). The only reason I even write that with an apology is because I've been approached with GREAT hostility for even slightly voicing that opinion.

The hostility is the reason I write this. Republicans are not stupid or corrupt. Many of them maybe prosperous capitalists. I had someone say that about me, that I was plainly a capitalist. Felt no insult there. What I think many democrats really need to do is to start to look at their own party when it comes to corruption and rethink of who it is that should not be trusted.

But now I have gotten use to some of my ideas being met with hostility or simply ignored rather than discussed. Whatever. If you don't care to listen, nothing will be gained. All I did was open my mind up as any good liberal says you should, and boom... I became a conservative. Funny how it works.

Now I'm just rambling on. Now I must go to sleep.

Quest

Writing is not something I've done in quite awhile. At least I've been use to doing the short story version. Now I plan to actually start to write a full story. Won't say to much more about it till it actually makes it further out than just chapter one. What I started thinking of once I started to write was what are the basic thing needed in a story line. I wrote a paper on the process of the story. I want to see how much I remember from this...



1. Start off in the original world, or the place where the hero had come from. This is where the hero had been in their home town or a place that is where they have comfort.



2. I believe there is some upset that is the next step, some challenge is given and the hero has to either willingly or unwillingly jump into the quest. I don't remember exactly what this step was called. What i do remember is that at this point in Star Wars it was when Luke was given the option of going on the quest to save the princess. In that sense he was the unwilling hero. He went because they had killed his family and he had nothing to go back to.



3. The journey of the hero I believe is the next step of the story.

For the life of me I don't remember how exactly it goes from here. I believe that there is a second conflict that happens that the hero must go through that leads to the final on with the enevitable resolution. The resolution must be done on his own without the help of friends or others to help. For instance, when Luke Skywalker destroyed the death star.

I'm going to try and go through and do a full outline. I don't think I'll trust my writing genius to guide me where my muse takes me. I think I'll be a little more realistic than that. I will let you know more as I have progress. Of course I have the assistance of my lovely husband.

Let's hope it works out! I have to say being a writer would definitely suit me better than recruiting. If nothing else comes out of it.... At least this can be entertainment.

Pics of New York

Vacation to Manhattan

Vacations are never as long as you wish them to be. I just visited Manhattan for the first time. The city was wonderful and I already can't wait to go back, but for the most part my week seems to be a vacation planning gone bad. Not that the vacation was bad, but lets say it was not what we had expected. It was a good pay period as we took off. We both work by commission and lets say it was a better than average to start off a vacation. One thing after another, by the time we made it to New York we were already broke. I'm not sure why, but that meant we spent the vacation walking. I took the vacation with my family, they asked me what I wanted to do. Considering the condition of finances I could only honestly say that I wanted to see the city. So that is what I spent my time doing for the past week, walking through Manhattan. Lets say I have blisters upon blisters, and I was not in the best conditioned going in. I have no reason walking at all on a normal basis. Recruiting is not the most energetic of jobs. So it was quite an experience to walk so much in such a short time period.

I've been back since Tuesday and I've really felt wonder lust once again. I have to admit that is one reason I was taken by Arthur in the first place, and that is why I am in South Florida. Now, I feel like the city. Maybe New York is too expensive, but I just want to move to a good city. I liked the convenience of the city and the people going back in forth in suits and other business attire. I liked the atmosphere of the New York. I would also like seasons. I'm not meant for the tropics. My allergies and my skin can only take so much of this sun and whatever else there is in the air I am allergic to.

I remember having long conversations about just leaving and going somewhere else. No matter where it was I lived. The problem now is I have a job, which I have recently been promoted at. My husband has a job and is trying to get his business going. All are reasons for me to stay and to be happy staying.

All I need is to be patient. Maybe it will pass as everything else does. How does one remain content with such drives? Arthur says that if I get placements (commission) that I will be happy again. We will see.

I will see if I can load some pics.

1 Peter 3:13-22

13Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear[b]; do not be frightened."[c] 15But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit, 19through whom[d] also he went and preached to the spirits in prison 20who disobeyed long ago when God waited patiently in the days of Noah while the ark was being built. In it only a few people, eight in all, were saved through water, 21and this water symbolizes baptism that now saves you also—not the removal of dirt from the body but the pledge[e] of a good conscience toward God. It saves you by the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who has gone into heaven and is at God's right hand—with angels, authorities and powers in submission to him.

I need to move further north...

The South Florida summer has definitly set in. Humid and hot, but much better than Texas. I understand why people still escape this place during the summer. It's not just the threat of hurricanes. Right now I wish I was further north. I don't really care where, just as long as it is colder than here.

Most South Floridians are out at the beach baking out in the sun. I'm not going out there again till I get a big umbrella. My skin won't take it otherwise. That is what I think I am doing tomorrow. But so far going to the movie was a relief yesterday. We went to see Evan Almighty. Great movie! Very funny! I was really suprised to see bad reviews of it. I would say you definitly should ignore the reviews and go and see it.

Now I think we are about to go see another movie. Till later!